I'm blacklisted after the SMI gathering ...

Dear blog, I'm damn depressed everyday after the SMI gathering. What should I do? It is actually regarding part of the previous post.But this time is a different storyline.Both of this post is also about last saturday's gathering but last post is about"love and honour". So this time i'm gonna write about my job as renjer in my school.The story begins like this : Since after the gathering , i felt too happy and exited to check out my Facebook cx sure there would be alot of notifications and many new friends requesting. By that time I'm too exited that I like flying in the sky. I forgot my life and everything.That's how problem occur when I started to write my feeling happens on that gathering everywhere on FB. Good nor bad things I write all out. So of coursemany of my friends saw and they also give some comments. the next day when I back to school, I was called by my seniors. they asked me why I done such wrong cx it will affect relationships of scouts n renjers between schools. Actually I din hate those seniors 4 telling me in such way and i also realize that I'm wrong. So i jz 4get bout it and stop posting about gathering's event at FB.But day by day pass I found that I was being talked backwards among renjer's members cx I had some kind of feeling shows that those committees will blacklisted me from being a new committee member nxt year. Even my friends who have high post in renjer think that I'm the kind of too trump.I felt like damn heartbroken at that time. It was like a glass broke into thousand pieces. plus,my another friend knew that i wrote my previous post "love and honour" in the blog so she checked.I thought I wanted to log the blog but i duno how. So end up I felt like afraid to meet her in school :( So at last she got ask me why i would lk the chairman of SMI scout .*SIGH* i couldn't answer her. So i jz make up some fake story to tell her. too sad was I only have a place to wrote out all my feelings no matter good,happy,sad,bad or etc which is on the blog but now i get exploited by my friends bcx they are always curious wad i wrote nowadays. Sometimes, i felt like neglected when i'm with my friends. They had least talk to me.Other than that,I also felt like being looked down by the seniors nor even the teacher of renjer. But what can I do? I couldn't do anything bcx my dignity has been affected since I wrote unfamiliar things bout gathering at FB. I felt grateful at the beginning cx i'm choosen to go 4 this gathering. But now I'm really scared that I couldn't get choosen to go again 2 another gathering or special events in other schools. Last but not least, I've been told that there were scouts knew that my school renjers talk about their gathering.. its either good things or bad things. since I've been told so I would think that the scouts knew us talking bout their bad things. *SIGH* i duno how this happen. although its my fault but i'm not purposely do that to affect the dignity of my school's renjers. I promise I wouldn't these things again nxt time but no use I tell all that cx seniors wouldn't believe me. What should I do!!!!! I wanted to go to others gathering nxt time!!! i dun wan to be ignored by friends !! before I end my story here i really hope that seniors would forgive me..my friends wouldn't ignored me..and scouts wouldn't misunderstanding or blacklisted our school's renjers. I hope that I could heal back my dignity..  =''[    ---PRAY HARD , LIVE HARD---