Too much

It's Saturday night and also a boring night, no relatives came to my house tonight because my parents and I went for wedding dinner. When came back, I online and my family watch chinese movie together. Yes, I'm talking bout now. I'm writing my blog here cause I'm kinda boring although haven't do the bunch of holiday homework. So, as I felt boring, I thought a lot of things that had been in my mind throughout the year. Then, I thought bout something that shouldn't be think of which is the singing audition. I know maybe I don't have the talent and on that audition day my throat is not well so I can't perform a better audition. I did not get chosen to participate SMI gathering's singing competition. Well, just a short one, there's some"politics issue" among my gangs. You know, one of my gang member is the Guides' head and bla bla.. Yes, there's something about it which is hard to tell now. So, at first I thought never mind, it just a failure in audition but I still don't know why it's been in my mind throughout the days. I think I've been care about it but I can't reveal my feelings out. Okay, I wish to become a singer that's why I'm very care bout my singing abilities and the results whenever I'm done singing. Well, sad for me to say, my relatives would never agree with my plan to become a singer. I think same goes for my family. They will always tease me that "aiyo, don't dream lah, you think it's easy to become a singer? What are you? You're just an ordinary girl. Study jeh la" and some more they said I always dream bout those handsome Korean guys. Come on, how they know? Seriously, I've never ever think that I wanted to become a singer just because of those handsome Korean guys. It's just because I love to sing and dance and felt that it'll be an awesome and fascinating life. And then my friends also do not support me. Oh, I felt like heart broke into pieces. They also said that I'm dreaming and say I don't have the talent ( from their thinking ) I think maybe they were right but singing and dancing need time and practices. Come on, I've never join singing and dancing classes and they just simply said I've no talent? What is your feeling if people tell the same thing to you? Sigh, what to do? Now I don't dare to talk bout my future plannings to my family and friends. They would sort of break my heart. Okay, back to what I wanted to say tonight, as I write the blog, tears began to drop and I've no idea why. Yes, I cried. I don't know what to do to get people's support and because I can't participate in that singing competition and when I see my friends discuss among themselves what to sing, I felt that I was a failure. FAIL..My heart was so hurt but I don't what to do. I don't have anyone to share my secrets but myself and myself was the blog and sometimes  the pig beside my bed. Not even my friends. Best friends? No, I don't have any. Sad to say, Kylie is not, Seow Ying is not. Chee Yin is not. they were just my "first-class and 6stars-rated" very good friends. So, for now I don't want to think anymore because from this story, it will continue to another story which is "friendship" and then the blog will not enough for me to write. So, for that issue, I can't share to blog but the pig. And then my eyes were swelling because tears came out too much and tomorrow I'll be going to one day trip with family so I got to go. Bye :)